Effective Allyship Matters

LGBTQ+ is an acronym that stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and everything else (+). The acronym LGBTQIA+ is also commonly used, with Intersex and Asexual/Aromantic added as the "IA". For the sake of simplicity, LGBTQ+ will be the version used throughout this website.

The LGBTQ+ community is one with a rich and complex history marked by struggles, achievements, and resilience. While there are many people and events that helped to get the community to where it is today, here are a few of the most notable ones:

Early history: While same-sex relationships and gender diversity have been documented since 2400 BCE, the modern LGBTQ+ rights movement only began to take shape in the 19th and early 20th centuries.

Stonewall Riots (1969): One of the most important and well-known events in LGBTQ+ history, the Stonewall Riots occurred at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York City. The riots were a response to a police raid and are considered a catalyst for the LGBTQ+ rights movement in the United States.

Gay Liberation Movement: Building on the momentum of the Stonewall Riots, the 1970s saw the emergence of the Gay Liberation Movement, which called for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility.

Declassification of Homosexuality as a mental illness (1973): The American Psychiatric Association made history by issuing a resolution stating that homosexuality isn't a mental illness or sickness and removing it from its list of mental disorders. This was a significant step towards the destigmatization of the LGBTQ+ community.

HIV/AIDS Crisis (1980s-90s): The HIV/AIDS epidemic had a profound impact on the LGBTQ+ community, which lead to activism and advocacy for healthcare, researchh, and support services.

Marriage Equality (2010s): The fight for marriage equality in the United States finally resulted in the Supreme Court's historic decision in the Obergefell v. Hodges case in 2015 to legalize same-sex marriage.

Legal and Social Progress: Over the years, there have been significant legal and social advances for LGBTQ+ rights, including the decriminalization of homosexuality in many countries, the legalization of same-sex marriage in several countries, and increased visibility and representation in media and politics.

Challenges and Ongoing Struggles: Despite the significant amount of progress being made, many challenges still remain including discrimination, violence, and a lack of legal protections in many parts of the world. Issues such as transgender rights, conversion therapy, and LGBTQ+ youth homelessness continue to be major concerns.

Transgender Rights: More recently, there has been a growing focus on transgender rights, including issues related to healthcare, recognition, and protection against discrimination.

Global Movement: The LGBTQ+ rights movement isn't exclusive to the United States, with activists and organizations working around the world to achieve equality and acceptance. While progress has been made in many countries, there's still plenty of work to be done to ensure that LGBTQ+ individuals are universally treated with the dignity and respect they deserve.

Creating A Safe Space

Using people's proper name and pronouns is one of the easiest ways to show your support. If you make a mistake, try not to make a big deal out of it- simply correct yourself and move on.

When asking for someone's pronouns, it's best to offer yours first in order to prompt them to share theirs. It's also best to avoid singling people out in a group setting as this can be very uncomfortable.

Using gender-neutral language is also an easy way to be inclusive and show your support. Replacing phrases like "ladies and gentlemen" with "everybody", "folks", or "friends" is a simple but effective change you can make in your vocabulary.

Adjustments like these can make a massive difference in creating safe and affirming spaces for transgender and gender non-conforming individuals. Having these safe spaces is important for the well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals, as highlighted by the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association.

Names

A person's name and pronouns are integral parts of their identity, so it's important to use the right ones. Using the incorrect name or pronouns for someone, especially after being corrected, can be quite hurtful and invalidating, as it denies that person's sense of self and undermines their identity.

Within the LGBTQ+ community, a "deadname" is the name that a transgender person is born with but doesn't use anymore. Using someone's deadname can be incredibly harmful as it can trigger feelings of dysphoria and make it feel like their identity is being invalidated. Purposefully continuing to use someone's deadname is incredibly disrespectful because it completely disregards their life experiences and the choices they've made regarding their own identity.

Pronouns

A simple way to ask someone for their pronouns is to share yours first. It both normalizes the practice and helps affirm to others that you're someone that they can safely share their identity with. If you forget to share your pronouns while introducing yourself, you can always do so later on in the conversation.

It's best to avoid assuming someone's pronouns. You can instead use their name or they/them pronouns until you're sure. It's also important to remember that pronouns don't always equal gender; for example, not everyone who uses she/her pronouns identifies as female, and not everyone who identifies as female uses she/her pronouns.

Want some examples?
She/her: "She went to the store to get her groceries."
He/him: "He went to the store to get his groceries."
They/them: "They went to the store to get their groceries."

Some people are also comfortable with multiple sets of pronouns, such as she/they, he/they, or even he/she/they. While preferences vary from person to person, it's usually a good idea to switch between the different pronouns instead of using only one.

Want some examples?
She/they: "She went to the store to buy her groceries. They also picked up some stuff for themselves."
He/they: "He went to the store to buy his groceries. They also picked up some stuff for themselves."
He/she/they: "He went to the store to buy his groceries. She also picked up some stuff for herself. They got home an hour later."

Keep in mind that this is not an all-inlcusive list, as I only included the most common flags.

Progressive Flag

Represents the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole. In addition to the original rainbow, five new colors have been added in order to represent minorities within the community; black and brown for BIPOC individuals and light blue, light pink, and white for transgender individuals.

Gay Flag

Represents men/nonbinary individuals who are attracted to other men/nonbinary individuals. this variation of the flag was designed and posted in 2020. It is also commonly referred to as the "toothpaste flag".

Lesbian Flag

Represents women/nonbinary individuals who are attracted to other women/nonbinary individuals. This variation of the flag was designed by Emily Gwen in 2018. It is also commonly referred to as the "sunset flag".

Bisexual Flag

Represents individuals who are attracted to two or more genders, but not necessarily all. The flag was designed by Michael Page in 1998. The term is also commonly confused with pansexual, although the two are, in fact, different.

Pansexual Flag

Represents individuals who are attracted to all genders with no specific preference. The flag was designed by Jasper V in the early 2010s. The term is also commonly confused with bisexual, although the two are, in fact, different.

Asexual Flag

Represents individuals who experience little to no sexual attraction. The flag was designed by AVEN user standup in 2010. Although the two terms are distinctly different, asexual is commonly confused with aromantic.

Aromantic Flag

Represents individuals who experience little to no romantic attraction. The flag was designed by Cameron Whimsy in 2014. Although the two terms are distinctly different, aromantic is commonly confused with asexual.

Transgender Flag

Represents individuals who don't identify with their gender assigned at birth. The flag was designed by Monica Helms in 1999. While some individuals may use this label by itself, it's most commonly used in a more general sense.

Nonbinary Flag

Represents individuals who don't identify as either male or female. The flag was designed by Kyle Rowan in 2014. Similar to transgender, nonbinary can be used as either a label on its own or as a more general term.

An important thing to understand when trying to support the LGBTQ+ community is the difference between performative and effective allyship.

Performative Allyship

Performative allyship is actions that appear to support a cause (the LGBTQ+ community in this case) but are superficial and usually motivated by a desire to seem socially conscious without a genuine commitment to change. Examples of performative allyship can include sharing a post on social media without any real understanding or further engagement, using LGBTQ+ issues as a topic of conversation for the sole purpose of looking progressive, or companies making their logos rainbow during pride month without actually doing anything to support the LGBTQ+ community.

Effective Allyship

On the other hand, effective allyship involves taking meaningful actions to support a cause and contribute to real change and improvement in the lives of affected individuals (once again, the LGBTQ+ community in this case). This could include educating yourself on LGBTQ+ issues, actively listening to and boosting the voices of LGBTQ+ individuals, advocating for LGBTQ+ rights in personal and/or professional spaces, and donating time or resources to LGBTQ+ organizations.

The LGBTQ+ community needs effective allies as systemic discrimination, violence, and marginalization continue to affect LGBTQ+ individuals around the world. Allies play a crucial role in challenging these injustices, helping to create safe and inclusive spaces, and advocating for policies and practices that protect and affirm LGBTQ+ rights and identities.

Want to be an effective ally? Here are a few simple things you can do:

1. Educate yourself: Take the time to learn about LGBTQ+ history, issues, and terminology. This knowledge can help you gain a better understanding of the community and what issues still need attention.

2. Listen and amplify: Listen to the experiences and needs of LGBTQ+ individuals without judgment. Amplify and boost their voices and stories to help raise awareness and understanding.

3. Speak up: Challenge discriminatory behavior and language when you encounter it. Use your privilege to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and inclusivity in all aspects of life.

4. Support LGBTQ+ organizations: Donate your time, money, or resources to organizations that support LGBTQ+ rights and provide services to the community.

5. Be visible: If it's safe to do so, show your support openly and constantly. Attend LGBTQ+ events, wear symbols of support like pins and flags, and engage in conversations about LGBTQ+ rights and issues.

6. Respect pronouns and identities: Use the correct name and pronouns for LGBTQ+ individuals. Respecting their identities without question is the easiest way to show your support.

By making the effort to be an effective ally, you can help to create a more inclusive and accepting society for all LGBTQ+ individuals.

These events and holidays are important for celebrating LGBTQ+ identities, raising awareness about LGBTQ+ issues, and advocating for LGBTQ+ rights and equality.

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth

Andew Joseph White

London, 1883. The Veil between the living and dead has thinned. Violet-eyed mediums commune with spirits under the watchful eye of the Royal Speaker Society, and sixteen-year-old trans, autistic Silas Bell would rather rip out his violet eyes than become an obedient Speaker wife.After a failed attempt to escape an arranged marriage, Silas is diagnosed with Veil sickness—a mysterious disease sending violet-eyed women into madness—and shipped away to Braxton’s Finishing School and Sanitorium. When the ghosts of missing students start begging Silas for help, he decides to reach into Braxton’s innards and expose its guts to the world—so long as the school doesn’t break him first.

Most Ardently

Gabe Cole Novoa

London, 1812 . Oliver Bennet feels trapped—not just by the endless corsets, petticoats, and skirts he's forced to wear on a daily basis, but also by society's expectations. The world, and the vast majority of his family and friends, think Oliver is a girl named Elizabeth. He is therefore expected to mingle at balls wearing a pretty dress, entertain suitors regardless of his interest in them, and ultimately become someone's wife.But Oliver can't bear the thought of such a fate. He finds solace in the few times he can sneak out of his family's home and explore the city rightfully dressed as a young gentleman. It's during one such excursion when Oliver becomes acquainted with Darcy, a sulky young man who had been rude to "Elizabeth" at a recent social function. But in the comfort of being out of the public eye, Oliver comes to find that Darcy is actually a sweet, intelligent boy with a warm heart, not to mention attractive.As Oliver spends more time as his true self, often with Darcy, part of him dares to hope that his dream of love and life as a man can be possible. But suitors are growing bolder―and even threatening―and his mother is growing more desperate to see him settled into an engagement. Oliver will have to choose: settle for safety, security, and a life of pretending to be something he's not, or risk it all for a slim chance at freedom, love, and a life that can be truly his own.

I Wish You All The Best

Mason Deaver

When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they're thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents' rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.But Ben's attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan's friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.

The Priory of the Orange Tree

Samantha Shannon

A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens.The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction – but assassins are getting closer to her door.Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic.Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep.

The Sunbearer Trials

Aiden Thomas

As each new decade begins, the Sun’s power must be replenished so that Sol can keep traveling along the sky and keep the evil Obsidian gods at bay. Ten semidioses between the ages of thirteen and eighteen are selected by Sol himself as the most worthy to compete in The Sunbearer Trials. The winner carries light and life to all the temples of Reino del Sol, but the loser has the greatest honor of all—they will be sacrificed to Sol, their body used to fuel the Sun Stones that will protect the people of Reino del Sol for the next ten years.Teo, a 17-year-old Jade semidiós and the trans son of Quetzal, goddess of birds, has never worried about the Trials…or rather, he’s only worried for others. His best friend Niya—daughter of Tierra, the god of earth—is one of the strongest heroes of their generation and is much too likely to be chosen this year. He also can’t help but worry (reluctantly, and under protest) for Aurelio, a powerful Gold semidiós and Teo’s friend-turned-rival who is a shoo-in for the Trials. Teo wouldn’t mind taking Aurelio down a notch or two, but a one-in-ten chance of death is a bit too close for Teo’s taste.But then, for the first time in over a century, Sol chooses a semidiós who isn’t a Gold. In fact, he chooses two: Xio, the 13-year-old child of Mala Suerte, god of bad luck, and…Teo. Now they must compete in five mysterious trials, against opponents who are both more powerful and better trained, for fame, glory, and their own survival.

Ace of Spades

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

Welcome to Niveus Private Academy, where money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because anonymous texter, Aces, is bringing two students' dark secrets to light.Talented musician Devon buries himself in rehearsals, but he can't escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Head girl Chiamaka isn't afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power.Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they're planning much more than a high-school game...

Light From Uncommon Stars

Ryka Aoki

Shizuka Satomi made a deal with the devil: to escape damnation, she must entice seven other violin prodigies to trade their souls for success. She has already delivered six.When Katrina Nguyen, a young transgender runaway, catches Shizuka's ear with her wild talent, Shizuka can almost feel the curse lifting. She's found her final candidate.But in a donut shop off a bustling highway in the San Gabriel Valley, Shizuka meets Lan Tran, retired starship captain, interstellar refugee, and mother of four. Shizuka doesn't have time for crushes or coffee dates, what with her very soul on the line, but Lan's kind smile and eyes like stars might just redefine a soul's worth. And maybe something as small as a warm donut is powerful enough to break a curse as vast as the California coastline.As the lives of these three women become entangled by chance and fate, a story of magic, identity, curses, and hope begins, and a family worth crossing the universe for is found.

Cemetery Boys

Aiden Thomas

Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can’t get rid of him.When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free.However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school’s resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He’s determined to find out what happened and tie up some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave.

Hell Followed With Us

Andrew Joseph White

Sixteen-year-old trans boy Benji is on the run from the cult that raised him—the fundamentalist sect that unleashed Armageddon and decimated the world’s population. Desperately, he searches for a place where the cult can’t get their hands on him, or more importantly, on the bioweapon they infected him with.But when cornered by monsters born from the destruction, Benji is rescued by a group of teens from the local Acheson LGBTQ+ Center, affectionately known as the ALC. The ALC’s leader, Nick, is gorgeous, autistic, and a deadly shot, and he knows Benji’s darkest secret: the cult’s bioweapon is mutating him into a monster deadly enough to wipe humanity from the earth once and for all.Still, Nick offers Benji shelter among his ragtag group of queer teens, as long as Benji can control the monster and use its power to defend the ALC. Eager to belong, Benji accepts Nick’s terms…until he discovers the ALC’s mysterious leader has a hidden agenda, and more than a few secrets of his own.

The Girl From The Sea

Molly Ostertag

Fifteen-year-old Morgan has a secret: She can't wait to escape the perfect little island where she lives. She's desperate to finish high school and escape her sad divorced mom, her volatile little brother, and worst of all, her great group of friends...who don't understand Morgan at all. Because really, Morgan's biggest secret is that she has a lot of secrets, including the one about wanting to kiss another girl.Then one night, Morgan is saved from drowning by a mysterious girl named Keltie. The two become friends and suddenly life on the island doesn't seem so stifling anymore.But Keltie has some secrets of her own. And as the girls start to fall in love, everything they're each trying to hide will find its way to the surface...whether Morgan is ready or not.

A Taste of Gold and Iron

Alex Rowland

Kadou, the shy prince of Arasht, finds himself at odds with one of the most powerful ambassadors at court—the body-father of the queen's new child—in an altercation which results in his humiliation.To prove his loyalty to the queen, his sister, Kadou takes responsibility for the investigation of a break-in at one of their guilds, with the help of his newly appointed bodyguard, the coldly handsome Evemer, who seems to tolerate him at best. In Arasht, where princes can touch-taste precious metals with their fingers and myth runs side by side with history, counterfeiting is heresy, and the conspiracy they discover could cripple the kingdom’s financial standing and bring about its ruin.

The Feeling of Falling in Love

Mason Deaver

Just days before spring break, Neil Kearney is set to fly across the country with his childhood friend (and current friend-with-benefits) Josh, to attend his brother's wedding—until Josh tells Neil that he's in love with him and Neil doesn't return the sentiment.With Josh still attending the wedding, Neil needs to find a new date to bring along. And, almost against his will, roommate Wyatt is drafted.At first, Wyatt (correctly) thinks Neil is acting like a jerk. But when they get to LA, Wyatt sees a little more of where it's coming from. Slowly, Neil and Wyatt begin to understand one another… and maybe, just maybe, fall in love for the first time…

The Song of Achilles

Madeline Miller

Achilles, "the best of all the Greeks," son of the cruel sea goddess Thetis and the legendary king Peleus, is strong, swift, and beautiful, irresistible to all who meet him. Patroclus is an awkward young prince, exiled from his homeland after an act of shocking violence. Brought together by chance, they forge an inseparable bond, despite risking the gods' wrath.They are trained by the centaur Chiron in the arts of war and medicine, but when word comes that Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped, all the heroes of Greece are called upon to lay siege to Troy in her name. Seduced by the promise of a glorious destiny, Achilles joins their cause, and torn between love and fear for his friend, Patroclus follows. Little do they know that the cruel Fates will test them both as never before and demand a terrible sacrifice.

Maurice

E. M. Forster

Maurice is heartbroken over unrequited love, which opened his heart and mind to his own sexual identity. In order to be true to himself, he goes against the grain of society’s often unspoken rules of class, wealth, and politics.Forster understood that his homage to same-sex love, if published when he completed it in 1914, would probably end his career. Thus, Maurice languished in a drawer for fifty-seven years, the author requesting it be published only after his death (along with his stories about homosexuality later collected in The Life to Come).

Gideon the Ninth

Tamsyn Muir

The Emperor needs necromancers.The Ninth Necromancer needs a swordswoman.Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead bullshit.Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse. She packs up her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and prepares to launch her daring escape. But her childhood nemesis won't set her free without a service.Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House and bone witch extraordinaire, has been summoned into action. The Emperor has invited the heirs to each of his loyal Houses to a deadly trial of wits and skill. If Harrowhark succeeds she will become an immortal, all-powerful servant of the Resurrection, but no necromancer can ascend without their cavalier. Without Gideon's sword, Harrow will fail, and the Ninth House will die.

This Is How You Lose the Time War

Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Among the ashes of a dying world, an agent of the Commandant finds a letter. It reads: Burn before reading. Thus begins an unlikely correspondence between two rival agents hellbent on securing the best possible future for their warring factions. Now, what began as a taunt, a battlefield boast, grows into something more. Something epic. Something romantic. Something that could change the past and the future.Except the discovery of their bond would mean death for each of them. There's still a war going on, after all. And someone has to win that war.

Compound Fracture

Andew Joseph White

On the night Miles Abernathy—sixteen-year-old socialist and proud West Virginian—comes out as trans to his parents, he sneaks off to a party, carrying evidence that may finally turn the tide of the blood feud plaguing Twist Creek: Photos that prove the county’s Sheriff Davies was responsible for the so-called “accident” that injured his dad, killed others, and crushed their grassroots efforts to unseat him.The feud began a hundred years ago when Miles’s great-great-grandfather, Saint Abernathy, incited a miners’ rebellion that ended with a public execution at the hands of law enforcement. Now, Miles becomes the feud’s latest victim as the sheriff’s son and his friends sniff out the evidence, follow him through the woods, and beat him nearly to death.In the hospital, the ghost of a soot-covered man hovers over Miles’s bedside while Sheriff Davies threatens Miles into silence. But when Miles accidently kills one of the boys who hurt him, he learns of other folks in Twist Creek who want out from under the sheriff’s heel. To free their families from this cycle of cruelty, they’re willing to put everything on the line—is Miles?

And They Lived . . .

Steven Salvatore

Chase Arthur is a budding animator and hopeless romantic obsessed with Disney films and finding his true love, but he's plagued with the belief that he's not enough for anyone: he's recovering from an eating disorder and suffers from body dysmorphia fueled by his father, and can't quite figure out his gender identity. When Chase starts his freshman year of college, he has to navigate being away from home and missing his sister, finding his squad, and contending with his ex-best friend Leila who is gunning for the same exclusive mentorship. If only he can pull together a short for the freshman animation showcase at the end of the semester.Then Chase meets Jack Reid, a pragmatic poet who worships words and longs to experience life outside of his sheltered world. But Chase throws everything into question for Jack, who is still discovering his sexual identity, having grown up in close-knit conservative family. Jack internalized a lot of homophobia from his parents and childhood best friend, who unexpectedly visit campus, which threatens to destroy their relationship. Chase will have to learn to love--and be enough for--himself, while discovering what it means to truly live.

In Deeper Waters

F. T. Lukens

Prince Tal has long awaited his coming-of-age tour. After spending most of his life cloistered behind palace walls as he learns to keep his forbidden magic secret, he can finally see his family’s kingdom for the first time. His first taste of adventure comes just two days into the journey, when their crew discovers a mysterious prisoner on a burning derelict vessel.Tasked with watching over the prisoner, Tal is surprised to feel an intense connection with the roguish Athlen. So when Athlen leaps overboard and disappears, Tal feels responsible and heartbroken, knowing Athlen could not have survived in the open ocean.That is, until Tal runs into Athlen days later on dry land, very much alive, and as charming—and secretive—as ever. But before they can pursue anything further, Tal is kidnapped by pirates and held ransom in a plot to reveal his rumored powers and instigate a war. Tal must escape if he hopes to save his family and the kingdom. And Athlen might just be his only hope…

Effective Allyship Matters Pamphlet (designed to be printed double-sided)
Effective Allyship Matters Bookmarks (designed to be printed double-sided)